


teach myself how to be free

by lynne_monstr



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - This World Inverted (Shadowhunters TV), Domestic, Fluff, Flufftober, M/M, Magnus Bane's Cat Eyes, magnus adjusting to having his magic back from being dormant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 08:09:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16301336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lynne_monstr/pseuds/lynne_monstr
Summary: Magnus has magic in his life. And Alec. Figuring out how they all fit together takes some work.He felt useful, renewed,happy.And it wasn’t all because of the magic.“What do you think, the cornflower blue or the royal blue?” Alec poked his head into the bathroom, holding up two almost identical looking shirts.“You always ask me, and then you always pick the one you want anyway.”Written for Flufftober Day 14: Alternate Universe





	teach myself how to be free

**Author's Note:**

> I love AU Malec so much. I hope they are happy!

In the days after Clary Morgenstern burst into his shop with her strange stories and her portal shard, Magnus spent almost every waking moment reacquainting himself with his long-lost magic. Having it back felt like being alive after merely going through the motions. 

For the first time in too long, he felt like himself again.

Every day brought some new joy he had forgotten about. In the mornings, when his tea went cold, he heated it with a twirl of his finger and a delighted laugh. When he walked down the street to open his shop, it was with a renewed spring in his step, fingertips alive with an excited hum that he thought he’d never feel again. It was the tearful reunions with old friends, reveling in their shocked faces when he stepped out of a portal and into their homes for the first time in recent memory.

He could barely believe he was the same man as all those months ago. He still favored unassuming sweaters and the thick rimmed glasses he privately believed made him look adorable. But he no longer blended into the background like he used to.

He felt useful, renewed, _happy._

And it wasn’t all because of the magic.

“What do you think, the cornflower blue or the royal blue?” Alec poked his head into the bathroom, holding up two almost identical looking shirts.

“You always ask me, and then you always pick the one you want anyway,” Magnus teased, tilting his head up so Alec could place a kiss on his lips. He resisted the urge to card fingers through his hair. Alec had already styled it and hated to have it messed up once the gel was in.

“Yes, but I like to hear your thoughts. Even when they are frankly hideous,” Alec said, raising an eyebrow in challenge.

“Cornflower,” Magnus replied.

This was the best part of his day. The two of them waking up together, getting ready together, starting their day together. Soon enough, they would go their separate ways—Magnus to his tarot shop and Alec to his party planning—but for the moment they were the only two people in the world.

Alec beamed. “I’m going to make a fashionista of you yet,” he said, scurrying back into the bedroom.

Magnus was struck with an idea. “Alexander,” he called out. “Can you please come back, I need your opinion.”

Alec’s words had struck a chord. There was a time when Magnus had thrived on being the center of attention, when he craved the sensation of having all eyes on him. He didn’t necessarily want to jump back into that persona, but he suddenly had a yearning tugging at his chest that he couldn’t ignore.

Raising his hands so his palms faced each other in front of his chest, he brought them together and apart. When he was done, a pewter box appeared next to the sink in a flash of light. He opened the box as Alec came back into the bathroom.

“Where did that box come from?”

“Oh, around,” Magnus deflected, silently hoping Alec wouldn’t call him on it.

He was going to tell Alec. Really, he was. Just not yet. Things between them were so good, and the thought of risking it all terrified him. The thought of Alec looking at him with fear and disgust once he knew the truth made nausea churn deep in his gut.

Alec thankfully accepted the non-explanation.

He could feel his boyfriend staring over his shoulder as he revealed the contents of the box, a glinting collection of rings, brooches, earrings, delicate chains, and heavy pendants. Magnus blinked as the memories came rushing back, but it felt right to have them in front of him again.

“Would you be so kind as to help me choose a few rings to wear?”

Ale grinned like a shark. “You’ve been holding out on me. This is going to be the. _Best. Day. Ever_.”

.

Time passed, until Magnus could no longer put it off.

He told Alec about being a warlock.

Alec hadn’t believed him, of course, but it was kind of hard to deny after he magicked a chilled bottle of his favorite champagne directly into his hands. And the stemware. And then Magnus had performed a deliberately overelaborate gesture and changed out Alec’s entire outfit to one of his own.

He made the soft sweater, relaxed fit jeans, and thick rimmed glasses look a lot more fashion forward than Magnus did.

“I can’t believe you made me wear a cardigan. I’m traumatized for life now,” Alec joked once the shock wore off.

It was that reaction that finally settled something within Magnus. Alec didn’t see him any differently, didn’t see a monster or a demon. He wasn’t afraid. He just saw Magnus.

“No more secrets?” Alec asked, as they lay tangled in bed together later that night.

Alec was beautiful, still flushed from their exertions, his body curled towards Magnus as if he still couldn’t get enough. One of his knees nudged at him and he shifted with it, twining their legs together and pulling him close.

“There are things I still haven’t told you,” he said carefully. “Not because they’re secret but because there are a lot of things to tell. I want you to know them all.”

“Okay,” Alec said, placing a last kiss against his neck before falling asleep on his chest.

Their relationship continued on its course. The only difference was that sometimes they had dinner in the middle of the day because Magnus portaled them to Madrid.

.

Before he had gone fully dormant, the last thing Magnus did was lock down the glamour over his eyes, the better to blend with mundane society. Now that magic was back in his life, he had reconnected with it on every level.

Except this last one.

Sitting in front of his bedroom vanity, he grabbed the reigns of the spell that hid his true eyes from view. And hesitated.

That’s how Alec found him hours later.

“Hey. You okay?”

Magnus startled and whirled, mustering up a faint smile. “Fine. How was your day? Making progress on the Penhallow retirement party?”

“Now I know you’re not fine. You hate hearing about that party.” Alec tossed his jacket onto the bed. Behind him, the setting sun streamed in through the window, giving his silhouette a haloed appearance. “What’s wrong?”

“Remember when I told you about my mark?” He hadn’t decided if he wanted Alec to know, but he had promised no secrets and he meant it.

Alec crouched beside him. “Yeah. You didn’t say what it was, just that it was some kind of warlock trait. Wait, you don’t have two—” he looked down between Magnus’ legs—“you know….” he trailed off. “Because I’m pretty sure I would have remembered that.”

“Alexander!” Magnus wasn’t one to blush, but he couldn’t deny the heat working its way up his face at the insinuation.

Alec’s face crumbled into helpless laughter. “Your face, Magnus. You should have seen it.”

Magnus laughed too, some of the pent-up tension leaving his shoulders. He hadn’t realized how much he needed that. Leave it to Alec to give him exactly what he needed without ever being asked.

“Do you want some privacy for this?”

Magnus made his choice and it was no choice at all. “No. Please stay.”

He needed to draw from Alec’s courage. His boldness and his strength and the way he was unabashedly who he was. Magnus admired him in so many ways, this amazing man who came into his life when he was just starting to live again, like a sign that they were meant to be. Through the good and the bad, he wanted Alec by his side.

Magnus gathered the spell again.

This was something he needed to do, and he was so grateful he didn’t have to do it alone. He prepared himself for the sight of his father’s heritage, prepared himself against the familiar edge of revulsion he felt whenever he caught sight of his mark.

He dropped the spell.

In the orange light of the setting sun, his cat eyes blazed a golden glow. Even he was surprised at their intensity. It had been so long, he had forgotten the exact shade as his memory faded through the years.

Seeing them again reminded him of other things. Regardless of his mixed feelings towards his parentage, his eyes were his alone. They were part of his history, his struggles, his triumphs. They were a mark of his life and his magic. He recalled his distaste for them so clearly that he had let himself forget the rest.

No one was more surprised than Magnus when he started crying.

A gentle hand on his shoulder brought him back. “You okay?”

Magnus nodded, swallowing past words that wouldn’t come.

In the mirror, Alec’s gaze locked onto his own. His eyes were wide with awe and surprise, studying Magnus like he was taking in every single detail. Alec’s hand came up to his face, tilting him away from his reflection to face Alec.

“Wow,” Alec said, brushing a hand across Magnus’ side-swept hair.

“I used to hate them, you know,” Magnus reflected with a watery smile, wiping the tears from his face. “But it’s been so long. I’m not sure what I feel anymore.”

Alec pressed his lips against the corner of one eye, and then the other. “They’re gorgeous,” he whispered. “Absolutely gorgeous. Just like you.”

Magnus closed his eyes, letting the words sweep over him. He had witnessed many reactions to his true nature over the years, both positive and negative. After his magic deserted him, he never thought it was a conversation he would ever have again. But here he was, his magic stronger than ever, and having found a love he never expected or looked for.

When he opened his eyes, the glamour was still down.

He put his glasses back on and pulled Alec to him, pouring all of the emotions he wasn’t ready to speak into a kiss.

If Alec’s enthusiastic response was any indication, he must have heard them, anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> Full disclosure, half the reason I wrote this is because I wanted an AU version of, "They're beautiful, you're beautiful." No regrets.
> 
> Feel free to come find me on tumblr!  
> lynne-monstr.tumblr.com


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